Perfectionism - Response Research (published late)

The many faces of perfectionism

As I began thinking about my response to Horn's 'Pink Tons', and how it represented a 'happy place' to me when I first saw it, I thought I could invert the idea and consider what it would look like to want to escape the confines of the mind - or 'think outside of the box'. As I pieced together my ideas about being stuck in a box (both resembling the form of my stimulus and acting as a metaphor for the mind) I wanted to pinpoint the aspect of the mind that I will be discussing with viewers.

After considering the legend of 1000 Cranes, I realized I needed a reason for the legend to not work, and settled on the idea that perhaps these Cranes have the ability to grant my wish and free me from the confines of the box, but I am not allowing them to, because in my mind they are not 'Cranes' if they have not been made perfectly to fit my standards of one.

This to me complies with the corrosive ideals of perfectionism, and an article I found shortly after my breakthrough put the mindset into even more appropriate terms:

 "I don't think needing to be perfect is in any way adaptive," [Paul Hewitt, PhD] says.

Taken from: http://www.apa.org/monitor/nov03/manyfaces.aspx

This link between perfection and lack of ability to adapt to situation provides the backdrop for the situation I will present to the audience. I am someone who has the potential to be freed, but through my own restrictive mindset I jeopardize my plight, and this perfectionism prevents me from 'adapting' to the situation to find an alternative solution - which is to realize that my cardboard prison can be defeated by a few angry thrashes.

I feel this response makes an important commentary on the mind as well as being a microcosm the world we live in, in which we sometimes are faced with the simplest issues that are only made worse by panic and tunnel vision. I will therefore continue to develop this idea as the concept behind my piece, and hope to source props soon to begin practicing!

Roni Horn Research and Response ideas (Published late)

Roni Horn is a New-York-born minimalist and post minimalist artist, who takes inspiration from things like landscape, literature, the weather, and Iceland's symmetrical geography in particular. The artist works majorly with sculpture, glass work and photography.

Artist Portrait -
Taken from google images

Horn created 'Pink Tons' in 2008, and when reading articles about it, I notice how much the piece is heralded as a defiance of the masculine dominated minimalist art movement. The fact that the piece is such a feminine colour is a supposed attempt to highlight how the presence of femininity in minimalism is seen as so unusual. This leads me to think about situations dominated by one social group, or even one category (one type of pen, or one food group) that can be thrown into chaos by the presence of an 'other'. This could reflect how the mind is so exacting that it becomes discriminatory.

From the same website that discussed the piece's commentary on gender, I read:

When Horn makes self-portraits, they are studiedly unrevealing "self-portraiture in a generic form, a for-instance," she says.

Taken from: https://www.artfund.org/supporting-museums/art-weve-helped-buy/artwork/12719/pink-tons-roni-horn

This suggested that 'Pink Tons' may be some kind of self-portrait, and got me considering how I hold masses of information about myself in my mind, which no one else can see. Whilst I see myself as a detailed marble sculpture, to others I could be nothing more than a big pink cube, so to speak.

This idea of self perception versus public perception along with the theory of the mind being easily tipped into chaos by an 'other', are some other things I may develop as I consider what I want my response Horn's sculpture to be.

Other articles used: http://www.tate.org.uk/art/artworks/horn-pink-tons-t14525

Performance Evaluation

The stimulus - Taken from google images

We have finally performed our site specific pieces, and although the night had a few hiccups, the lessons I learned from instigating a solo piece have been so important. My piece definitely had its merits, as I think my careful consideration of its aesthetics drew many audience members in. I spent a lot of time developing my ideas around how I would stage the piece, and took into account how my site would enhance its themes. I was successful in making sure that the corridor I worked in was completely darkened, and so I think my use of gently twinkling fairy lights gave the piece a siren-like quality, as it beckoned to passers by in the darkness. This both captured the warm glow of my stimulus - Roni Horn’s ‘Pink Tons’ - and therefore created a strong link between my piece and its conception, as well as serving an interesting and unsettling contrast between the inviting quality of the lighting, and the claustrophobia captured inside of the box with my plight to escape. As the aesthetic of the piece was such an important aspect of communicating the message, achieving an effective manifestation of my vision is something I’m very proud of. I think this was due to gathering props early on in the process, which allowed me to run the piece fully, and I could then critique and develop from the beginning.

The finished product - Taken by another actor

Additionally, making sure that I provided a contextual description of my piece (the legend behind ‘1000 Cranes’) meant that lots of people were given the extra information they needed to understand my commentary. As the description was tacked on the wall behind me, I was able to hear many people’s sounds of recognition after reading about the legend and applying it to my idea. Considering the fact that I was debating whether giving the audience a lens through which to see my piece would restrict the potential it had to represent lots of aspects of the mind, I’m very glad I provided them with the description in the end. This is because the kind of audience that I had (who wanted to spend the most thinking-time on their own children’s performances) may not have made the effort to really consider my show after leaving it, so at least I can be sure that they took meaning from it in the way I considered the piece.

Although I was very successful in sourcing my props and using them to create an interesting visual display, I think better organisation and consideration of space would have benefitted the show greatly. I settled on a cardboard box that was cramped to say the least, and this meant that half way through my performance my neck was under a lot of strain, and both of my legs had gone dead from squeezing into such a tight space! In some ways, this aided my acting in terms of having genuine need to escape the box. However, if I was a professional actor doing a run of this show every night, I would have to acquire a larger box to stop any long term damage to my neck or back, as well as the fact that I didn’t have sufficient room to make any more paper cranes, and so I relied mostly on the premade ones. This meant that I didn’t achieve the ultimate aesthetic of having an excessive amount of cranes outside of the box to seemingly comply with the title of ‘1000 Cranes’. The fact that I also ran out of paper to make any extra cranes meant that I was thinking too much about rationing my supplies instead of living in the moment of desperately creating as many as possible. This could easily have been solved by planning for the worst and making sure I had tons of paper in the box with me.

View from above -
taken by another actor

I also took a risk with my piece that didn’t benefit me in the end, and I know now that when creating a piece under a genre that I have never done before, I should use the guidance of my tutors before breaking conventions! I was told that having a piece that could loop continuously would be the most effective, but I decided to add a moment at the end in which I escape from the box by complete accident, due to a fit of rage caused by the tedious method of creating paper cranes. This meant that my piece looped in a way, but was building up to a crescendo that not many viewers would see. On the day of the performance, I ran out of time, and was told to pack up before I could perform my ‘finale’, which meant that there was no varying dynamic in my piece (as the part that would achieve it wasn’t performed). I know now that I should have found a way to work catharsis into the loop, so that it could be achieved every ten minutes for example. I could have done this by bursting out in the same way I had planned, but perhaps changing my commentary on the idea slightly by showing myself climbing back into the box to begin again - which would raise ideas about whether my true intention was to escape at all.

I was glad to have some feedback from an audience member when I was packing up, in which she said that my piece was ‘haunting’ and ‘delicate’. I am very pleased with this because to me it proves that my intentions with aesthetic were achieved.I think in this case they were also accentuated by my chosen site, as (I have said before) it brings a hollow feel to the piece with its echoing walls, which may not have been the case if I had stayed with my first site in the carpeted history corridor.  

Finally, as I switched off my fairy lights and chucked weeks’ worth of folded cranes into the (recycling) bin, I realised that I knew all along that my planned explosion out of the box at the very end wouldn’t work. I have learned from this that I need to be more flexible in changing my idea. This can be done by constantly developing concept at the beginning of a project, because I remember acknowledging that the idea wouldn’t work, but felt that it was too late to change anything. For the sake of achieving a complete story arc in my next endeavour, I will push myself to do this in order to grow as a creative as well. I have also learned about my own resourcefulness and my abilities as a solo artist. I was apprehensive at first about taking on a whole project by myself, but my pride in what I have created off of my own back has shown me that the most important thing is to constantly challenge your own perception of yourself as an artist.

Audience Instructions, Safety Instructions, Aerial Map of Site and Ideal Audience Numbers

Audience Instructions

I only have one instruction for my audience: 'Don't be afraid to look inside and discover more'. 

There is a whole life going on inside of the box, and there are reasons to stay inside as well as the need to escape. By peering through the holes in the box, there are pictures and sounds for them to discover that may give them a greater understanding of what I am aiming to communicate. 

Safety instructions

The only thing that poses a hazard is navigating the darkness. There will be fairy lights on the floor to provide some idea of the space, but I ask that the audience navigate the corridor with caution to avoid collision with other audience members. A board with a notice of caution will be positioned at the entrance to remind the audience of this. 

Aerial Map of Site 

This is an aerial map of my site, which is the long corridor next to the CAP classrooms. The site is actually a 'C' shape, with stairs at either end. The path leading to my piece is rather straight forward, and I have ensured that my box will not obstruct the fire escape in anyway (as shown on the left of the diagram). 

I have indicated the possible footpaths for audience with arrows along the corridor, so that I can be well prepared for the possible ways that audience may interact with my piece and the angles that they may approach it from. This allows me to plan the direction I'll face when performing, and which slots I'll post cranes out of. 








Ideal Audience numbers

As the corridor is rather expansive, large numbers of audience members could enter at any time and the space wouldn't become claustrophobic, but as the centre of the piece is rather small (the cardboard box), and only a maximum of four people could peer in at one time, I think my ideal audience number is around five or six. A small crowd would also keep the 'empty' quality of the site, which adds to the cold and detached feeling of the piece, as well as the fact that a large crowd could bring a lot of noise that I think would remove tension from the scene and distract me. 

02/02/17 - Final site decision and rehearsal notes

Although my plans were to perform in the small carpeted corridor mentioned in a previous post, I had to compromise the space due to the lighting choices that I had made, which clashed with those of two other groups in the same corridor. I have moved further down the building and have found a corner just past the CAP classroom 325 to perform my piece. I still feel as though the qualities, properties, and meanings of this site go hand in hand with my messages, due to the fact that this place is still part of a corridor and lights can still be turned off for my idea of presenting it as an off-limits or uninhabited area, so that the audience receive the piece as somewhat unfinished, and once I break out of the box and run off into the light, that's when the true piece should begin. Instead they're presented with how it came to be. 

The corner

I think there is also added meaning in the fact that this box which I will be 'trapped' in butts against a line of lockers. In other words, there is a motif of locked boxes, and precious items being stored inside of them. The idea that there is something precious trapped inside the cardboard box is therefore insinuated. Although the site is completely different to the slightly suffocating nature of the other corridor due to the previous properties of carpeted floors and low ceilings, the echoing properties of the corridor can also add to the piece, and it is instead too airy and has an empty, heartless quality. The piece could then take on less meanings of claustrophobia and yearnings to escape, and instead comment on the cruelty and coldness of the outside world.  

After finding this site, I conducted a full run of the piece. It was especially helpful in terms of figuring out logistics and practicalities of being in the box the whole time. I realize now that to keep pace in the scene I need to make a mass of cranes in advance, so that I can create more whilst in the box, but will be able to post a large amount out of the peepholes on a regular basis (as making a paper crane takes a while). Posting out a large quantity of cranes out will also allow me to achieve the final image of a plethora or cranes strewn around the box instead of the few that I manage to make in half an hour. I have begun the process of making these cranes, and they will be in the box with me, but I will ensure they are out of audience view.

The run left me with loads of notes that tie into my risk assessment form, but these adjustments will also benefit my piece aesthetically. For example, to allow me to escape easily from the box if I need to make a quick exit (in case of emergency), I'll remove the bottom flaps of the box (seen in the picture of the right hand side) so that it can be lifted off of me in a hurry. Cutting these flaps off will also give the box a neater silhouette which will add a slick edge to the piece.

I've also decided that I will in fact be dressed as a crane as well as making paper cranes, and I feel this represents the idea of ourselves being the answer to our predicaments, but being too blind to see it. This reflects the complexity of the mind, but also its ability to over-complicate situations. Because of my new ideas for costume, I have been looking at the facial markings of whooping cranes in order to imitate them with face paint. I then plan to be wearing white, and wear white wings. The audience may see this whilst peering into the box, but it will also be revealed when I burst out of it in the final moments - not by making perfect cranes, but in a fit of rage. I feel this then comments on how natural instincts take over and can help solve complications through their simplicity.

The Whooping Crane is the tallest bird in North America and one of the most awe-inspiring, with its snowy white plumage, crimson cap, bugling call, and graceful courtship dance.

Color Pattern

Adults are bright white birds with accents of red on the head. The legs, bill, and wingtips are black. Immatures are whitish below but mottled brownish-rusty above.

-Information taken from https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Whooping_Crane/id

The information I found out about Whooping Cranes, including their graceful qualities, only served to support my ideas about how something so delicate, like the brain, can become jaded when it is trapped (like a bird in a box), and its own delicacy is ruined by over complication of things. Sometimes, simplicity is what creates grace. 

Before the performance next week I will have to source all of my fairy lights, face paint, my wings, white clothing, and feathers, as well as creating more paper cranes and making adjustments to the box. I plan to run my piece with all of the lights that are needed, in the proper running time of 30 minutes, in order to fully test the conditions I will be subjected to and assess whether the situation is safe and bearable.

In addition to this, a full risk assessment of the venue will be published in my blog, detailing the hazards of the surrounding area.

02/02/17 - Final Site Risk Assessment Sheet

Paper Crane Design and Final Programme

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